he's alive.

Today is one of those days; I feel the enemy flooding in from every direction; my thoughts, my emotions, my relationships, financially. Do you have those days? Days that the thoughts of "not being good enough" whether it be physically in your appearance or perhaps how you interact with others or maybe doing what God called you to. Like your every thought is "Look at my life. I'm terrible at _____." "Why do I even try. I just give in." 

But then something with inside of you wakes up. You have to proverbially slap yourself in the face and tell yourself "snap out it!" The enemy is trying to convince you that you're not good enough because the Lord has something ahead for you that will shake up the kingdom of God. Like David, you must "encourage yourself in the Lord." Take a moment and look at what is happening in your life. Have you made a recent decision to follow passionately after the Lord, or even commit to doing something for the Lord? If so, the enemy is most likely pounding on your door. Don't give in to the lies of the enemy today. But remember to put on the full armor of God:

Ephesians 6:10-18

10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.12 For we[d] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[e] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[f] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[g]

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Futhermore, remind yourself and tell the enemy today, "You're right I'm not good enough. But, Jesus, you see is alive and all the power is in His hands, and I have that same spirit that rose Him from the grave living inside of me. He has already conquered you Devil. And because of what He is done, I am alive. I am empowered through the Holy Spirit and I am boldly proclaiming the victory that he has already provided me with."

My dear friends, don't let the enemy steal your joy today. Jesus is enough. Dwell in His presence and He will provide you with the wisdom and peace through the storm. To my fellow mommas out there, your days are long and hard - the sleepless nights, the never ending babies tugging on you needing you while you're trying to clean, cook dinner and tend to the other children will soon pass. Enjoy the craziness, for one day they will be long and gone, and you will finally have peace and quiet in an empty house. 

With much love, 

Lauren

Rejection.

Today I come with an open heart to write what the Lord has been writing on my heart.

Rejection.

Have you ever felt rejected? Maybe by a friend, loved one, a group of people, God? Rejection is something that we all have faced from one time to another. It is an idea that we hate. So, we fight to not be rejected. We do whatever it takes to fit in. Sometimes that involves losing who we truly are to become something that we are not. Rejection has led to divorces, suicides and depression. In itself, it is destructive. There is someone in the bible who we consider "a bad guy" that faced rejection. He was rejected by God first, the people second all because he wanted to please other people. Oh, the irony. His name is Saul and I want to look at his story.


We start in 1 Samuel 15:

15 One day Samuel said to Saul, “It was the Lord who told me to anoint you as king of his people, Israel. Now listen to this message from the Lord! 2 This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies has declared: I have decided to settle accounts with the nation of Amalek for opposing Israel when they came from Egypt. 3 Now go and completely destroy[a] the entire Amalekite nation—men, women, children, babies, cattle, sheep, goats, camels, and donkeys.”

4 So Saul mobilized his army at Telaim. There were 200,000 soldiers from Israel and 10,000 men from Judah. 5 Then Saul and his army went to a town of the Amalekites and lay in wait in the valley. 6 Saul sent this warning to the Kenites: “Move away from where the Amalekites live, or you will die with them. For you showed kindness to all the people of Israel when they came up from Egypt.” So the Kenites packed up and left.

7 Then Saul slaughtered the Amalekites from Havilah all the way to Shur, east of Egypt. 8 He captured Agag, the Amalekite king, but completely destroyed everyone else. 9 Saul and his men spared Agag’s life and kept the best of the sheep and goats, the cattle, the fat calves, and the lambs—everything, in fact, that appealed to them. They destroyed only what was worthless or of poor quality.

The Lord Rejects Saul

10 Then the Lord said to Samuel, 11 “I am sorry that I ever made Saul king, for he has not been loyal to me and has refused to obey my command.” Samuel was so deeply moved when he heard this that he cried out to the Lord all night.

12 Early the next morning Samuel went to find Saul. Someone told him, “Saul went to the town of Carmel to set up a monument to himself; then he went on to Gilgal.”

13 When Samuel finally found him, Saul greeted him cheerfully. “May the Lordbless you,” he said. “I have carried out the Lord’s command!”

14 “Then what is all the bleating of sheep and goats and the lowing of cattle I hear?” Samuel demanded.

15 “It’s true that the army spared the best of the sheep, goats, and cattle,” Saul admitted. “But they are going to sacrifice them to the Lord your God. We have destroyed everything else.”

16 Then Samuel said to Saul, “Stop! Listen to what the Lord told me last night!”

“What did he tell you?” Saul asked.

17 And Samuel told him, “Although you may think little of yourself, are you not the leader of the tribes of Israel? The Lord has anointed you king of Israel. 18 And theLord sent you on a mission and told you, ‘Go and completely destroy the sinners, the Amalekites, until they are all dead.’ 19 Why haven’t you obeyed the Lord? Why did you rush for the plunder and do what was evil in the Lord’s sight?”

20 “But I did obey the Lord,” Saul insisted. “I carried out the mission he gave me. I brought back King Agag, but I destroyed everyone else. 21 Then my troops brought in the best of the sheep, goats, cattle, and plunder to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal.”

22 But Samuel replied,

“What is more pleasing to the Lord:

    your burnt offerings and sacrifices

    or your obedience to his voice?

Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice,

    and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.

23 

Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft,

    and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols.

So because you have rejected the command of the Lord,

    he has rejected you as king.”

Saul Pleads for Forgiveness

24 Then Saul admitted to Samuel, “Yes, I have sinned. I have disobeyed your instructions and the Lord’s command, for I was afraid of the people and did what they demanded. 25 But now, please forgive my sin and come back with me so that I may worship the Lord.”

26 But Samuel replied, “I will not go back with you! Since you have rejected theLord’s command, he has rejected you as king of Israel.”

27 As Samuel turned to go, Saul tried to hold him back and tore the hem of his robe. 28 And Samuel said to him, “The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today and has given it to someone else—one who is better than you. 29 And he who is the Glory of Israel will not lie, nor will he change his mind, for he is not human that he should change his mind!”

We know the story well. Saul was anointed to be king of Israel. He was given a commandment. Instead, Saul did what he thought was best and disobeyed the Lord. However, he tried to rationalize that what he was doing against God, was really for God. Have you ever done that? What you knew was wrong that God told you not to do, you did it instead. Then in the Lord's name you declared that it was on His behalf? I believe that we all do this. We all decide to serve ourselves. Our own ambitions. Or maybe we serve those around us because we are afraid of what they may think of us and what God told us to do. That was Saul. He served not only his own ambitions, but rather what people thought around him. Samuel came to Saul and asked him a very important question: "Although you may think little of yourself, are you not the leader of the tribes of Israel? The Lord has anointed you as king of Israel." I think that this displays the state of Saul's heart. Saul was forgetting who he was and succumbed to being afraid of the people. God had set Saul apart. He was anointed. He was to listen to God and be different than those around him. When we accept the Holy Spirit into our lives by believing in Jesus, are we too supposed to be different from those around us, separated from the world? Paul says that we are to not be of this world, but transformed by the renewing of our minds. Instead, Saul listened to the fear of rejection, and forgot who he was called to be and disobeyed the Lord.

So not only did Saul fear rejection of the people, he made an amazing rationale and tried to change the disobedience into giving a sacrifice. How well do we know this idea of spinning a situation to make us look like a martyr instead of a disobeying child of God. "I give my time to the church; I give, I sacrifice, I attend, I come." However, how far are our hearts from the Lord. Are you doing these "sacrifices" for the Lord, or for the appearance of good - people pleasing. The pharisees were well known for being "white washed tombs," looking good on the outside, but dead on the inside. Working in the name of the Lord without the Lord ever being invited into the work. You see, when we "work" for the Lord without Him, his guidance isn't sought and ultimately disobedience is found when we aren't seeking after Him. Samuel explained this to Saul "Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of the rams." God desires obedience over anything. Mike drop. Period. Finito. No arguments. No ands, ifs or buts. 

Saul is much more like you and I than we rather admit. Because admitting that we are like Saul means that we could potentially face the same rejection from God that he faced. The Lord told Samuel that he was sorry that he ever anointed Saul as king. My prayer is that God isn't sorry that he ever called me or chose me. You see, because of Saul's fear of rejection and blindness caused by the fear caused Saul to lose who he truly was. He lost his anointing and his calling. God also gave both of these things to someone else. He had chosen someone who would be known as the man after God's own heart; David. David wasn't a perfect man, but he was a man willing to not let fear drive him and to pursue God's will and desire. I long to be the woman that isn't letting fear drive her who is willing to pursue God passionately. Although, I fail more times than not, I hold on to the hope that God's grace is sufficient. I pray today that this finds you and encourages you to not let fear be what is separating you from the Lord. For "perfect love (of the Father) casts out all fear." 1 John 4:18

dreams.

Dreams.

We all have them. Big, small. Some realistic, others far fetched. Dreams that have been obtained and others that are far off the horizon. Regardless of where your dreams are currently, we can all say that at one time or another dreams have been apart of our hearts. Some of us have found ourselves on the path where we are currently pressing toward that "dream" while others find themselves hurt by trying to accomplish a dream due to failure. I know that there are others of us that can't remember the last time that we had a dream that we wanted to see come to pass because life has squashed out those flickers of hope.

Dreams.

I know that for me personally, I have accomplished some dreams like obtaining my RN license and having a nursing career, or getting married and becoming a mother. But, on the road of dreams, I have found that what I once longed for in the dream world, I was unsatisfied; longing for something different and more. Have you been there? When you finally accomplish that dream that you have had for so long that it isn't at all what you thought or hoped it would be. The argument that although this is very disappointing, scripture tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:11 that "...God has placed eternity on the human heart..." Our desire for the Lord is innate. When our dreams do not line up with His will for us to further His kingdom, what are we really accomplishing. If your drive for success, money, recognition, etc is what is pushing toward your dreams, then unsatisfaction is sure to follow. Only God can fill that place of satisfaction. Dreams can come for the Lord, for "when you take delight in the Lord, He will give you your heart's desire." (Psalm 37:4). When we are willing to please the Lord, he gives us dreams and allows us to fulfill those dreams.

So, today, I myself am making a list of my new dreams or perhaps even forgotten dreams that I found that the Lord is placing on my heart. Once written down, I asked myself the following question which lead to even deeper questions: "How do I work toward these dreams/goals/desires?"

First, "Who is someone that I look up to and why?" When I set my mind on who I can look up to, I recognize that they most likely possess qualities that I am searching for within myself who also have obtained similar goals and become successful. I believe that it is perfectly okay to look up to someone, but recognizing that they are a person, too. What we perceive on the outside of someone's life is usually a snip of what they have experienced in life and only a tip of the iceberg of what is taking place in their heart. Therefore, it is important to keep in mind that although on their exterior life seems just peachy, their life can be up in flames. Hello, people. (On a side note, this is why I have stepped away from facebook...more on that later). Also, I think that if you decide to look up to someone, make sure that they have similar Christian values as you because what good is it to look up to someone when you're trying to further the kingdom when that person is not.

Second, I asked myself "What do these dreams/goals do to glorify Jesus and how can they further the Kingdom." This helps me make my life more purposeful and fulfill the scripture that I earlier mentioned. Without God, I can't do anything, but with Him, I can do all things (Philippians 4:13). If I am not trying to glorify God, then what I am I really trying to do?

The last question is the most difficult, but most necessary: "What requirements and/or sacrifices of myself most I make?"You can see why this is the most difficult. If we are not willing to give up something, then we are never going to really obtain it. And you can't argue that you won't have to give up anything. Usually it will be your time. However, dreams more frequently than not require that you give up so much more. Many times we find ourselves making the argument that "I just don't have enough time." What I have found, is that you are willing to make time for things that are most important to you. For instance, I can either sit on the couch and watch TV, or I can make my time much more useful. Something that I have personally encountered is that the people that I look up to can accomplish so much because they don't own a television. Hey, it sounds crazy, but there's something to be noted there. Something even deeper that we must sacrifice might be our feeling of being "comfortable" or "safe." When we are willing to get out of our comfort zone, then that is really where we are able to learn and to grow.

Lastly, the thing that the Lord has spoke to me about my dreams is the following. My prayer is that it speaks to you just like it has spoken volumes to me. It is to recognize what my talents are and to stop trying to pursue other talents/gifts because you don't think that yours are special enough. Yes, I often find myself making comments like "I wish I could do _____ like so and so." What happens is, is that I find myself feeling unqualified, worthless and deeply unsatisfied. God has given me and you our talents specific to us. It's our job to acknowledge them, embrace them and put them into action. When we find ourselves not embracing them and pushing forward with them, we are so deeply destroying who we are and what we are created to do.

Hopefully, through my struggle that I have had over the past couple of weeks, you can find the encouragement that I have found. What are my dreams you may ask - well, one of them is this blog. One of my dreams that I wrote down this morning is to teach others life lessons and how Jesus works within our day to day all the while encouraging other along the way. My dear, sweet husband encourages me that I can write to others, that I am good enough and I can make a difference. But you see, in the world of blogging, there are so many. I am new at it and don't want to be another one in the thousands upon thousands of blogs. I sometimes like to believe the lies of the enemy (anyone else with me here?) that one more doesn't make a difference. How can I be so wrong. One more can make all the difference. Be that one more today.  Be encouraged. Make a difference and DREAM.

Energetic, strong; hardworker

Disclaimer: This was written Monday, but not posted until today. Let's just say it's been a week.

            It's Monday. And, boy, has it been a Monday. Let's just say it's only 12:30 in the afternoon and my almost 2 year old is already in the bed taking a nap. Yes - for you mommas out there you understand those days where fuss and ill seem to have possessed that usually sweet child of yours. I may be the guilty partner of this ill child due to the busy weekend and missed naps that was had. However, today we are trying to make up for all that lost sleep and I pray, quite literally, that she wakes up happy, sweet and her normal self. 

            I have found that my patience has been worn thin and my sanity, quite frankly, seems to be on the wit's end. But, that is where I have drawn strength from my Savior and we prayed twice during her tantrums that God would help mommy not lose her patience and have wisdom to discipline and that "G" would obey her momma and for God to forgive us for disobedience. Some might find that strange. To pray and ask God for guidance in the middle of trying to discipline a screaming 2 year old. However, if I don't ask for wisdom then, when would be the right time? If I don't display what to do in the middle of chaos, how will she know? I am the only piece of the Savior that she sees day in and day out. I'm to be the extension of love which is drawn from God himself. My ultimate desire is that when she becomes older, she can look back and say "My momma was a true follower of Jesus, full of His love and His Holy Spirit." I mean after all, how can I expect her to follow Him if I don't? This is how I am attempting to be the Proverbs 31 woman. I'm not striving for perfection because I would be lying if I would say that I don't lose my temper and my "cool" at times. It is so difficult and very wearing to deal with a screaming 2 year old. But, again, I seek to draw my strength from the Spring Himself. 

               My ultimate desire since I have been doing this Proverbs 31 Woman study is that you find your own strength from the one who gives it. With that said, let us look at the next few verses within the Proverb 31, 5:16-18. 

She goes to inspect a field and buys it;

    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 

She is energetic and strong,

    a hard worker.

18 

She makes sure her dealings are profitable;

    her lamp burns late into the night.

                We find that the Noble Woman goes into a field to inspect if it profitable. For a woman to have that say so during this time is unheard of. Women were considered property at this time. Therefore, for her to have a say so in what fields can be purchased and having the ability and opportunity to purchase the field, she had great honor. She was considered an equal to her husband. He honored and respected her opinion. Solomon states that she is energetic, strong and a hard worker. This Noble Woman strives for being profitable and will do what it takes to to being her family profit including staying up late hours of the night. 

                 Most women today seek employment outside of the the home much like this Proverb 31 Woman. We women seek careers and not only are wives and mommas, but also women of the work force. We are energetic (well some days) and strong. We work hard to support our families in more ways than one. You see, you and I are more like this Proverb 31 woman than we realize. Seek encouragement today knowing that you are strong, hardworking. 

With Love, 

Lauren

Like a Merchant Ship

             Two days ago, we spoke of how precious a woman of noble character is. Today we will look deeper into this Proverb 31 woman and just see how she is a captain of her household. Again, using New Living Translation, here is Proverb 31, verses 13-15:

She finds wool and flax

    and busily spins it.

14 

She is like a merchant’s ship,

    bringing her food from afar.

15 

She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household

    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

            Looking at verse 13, the woman is described as making clothes for her family. It is her duty as a mother and wife to make sure all those that belong to her household are warm, secure and healthy. Therefore, as a woman it is our responsibility to take care of those around us. And, don't look at that like it is the "woman's duty" with a bad connotation. As a nurse, I have had it said to me multiple times that it takes a "special" person to care for others. You see, God gave woman this special ability to care and nurture those around her. We have the natural ability to do this; to shield, protect and nurture.

             Going into verse 14, Solomon describes this noble woman to be like a merchant's ship. A merchant ship would equate to a cargo ship of today. A ship must have a captain, a compass, carry precious goods and weather storms on the great seas. Don't overlook this. We as the mother and wife of a household are the true captains. We navigate the home and how life is portrayed in it. We can control if the home is peaceful or full of chaos. However, by utilizing our compass who would be Jesus and the Holy Spirit, we have the opportunity to wield it in God's direction. The goods that we carry are to be "from afar" meaning that we look for the best for our families. Whether that means most affordable or most healthy, it is our jobs as "merchant's ships" to bring in the best for our families. Also, a merchant ship never keeps any for herself portraying that this noble woman is selfless. And finally, ships must be able to withstand the greatest storms. We all know that life has its storms and the woman is equipped to handle these with grace and without sinking because God gives us the grace to do so. Therefore, see yourself as the captain of your home who has the ability to navigate how it will go, what will brought into your home and one that is strong. 

             Finally, verse 15 which I would consider my least favorite and most difficult is that this woman would rise before her family to not only take care of her "own," but also those that served underneath her. It is her that plans her family's day and because of her that the family had something substantial to eat in the morning. Again, an act of selflessness. She gives up and sacrifices to prepare food and time which both are needed to be productive and to be vital. This noble woman is prepared, thoughtful and purposeful. She isn't wasteful, but understands how precious time and money are.  

           I would dare to say that many of us mothers and wives are doing what is stated above in our own ways. We as women have the innate desire and ability to be selfless, loving and giving. All of these characteristics describe what this woman does in these few verses. Believe in yourself today. Don't read these and feel guilty if you feel short of this. Read it and breathe.  Ask for grace. And remember, every day is full of new mercies. Push yourself to recognize that you are capable and are most likely doing each of these things. However, I would venture that sometimes we don't believe that we have such a stronghold in our households. Think again. Remember, you are the captain of your ship. Bring peace, the Holy Spirit and find strength in Him alone. 

Love, 

Lauren

Worth more than Rubies

             So, a few days ago I mentioned the proverbs 31 woman. For me, I am currently on day 5 of a "new" me and so far I haven't been perfect at it, but striving to be better. I don't know about you, but I struggle with perfection and understanding that I am so far from it. That alone sometimes defeats me. However, God doesn't want us to live defeated. So much so, in fact, that Jesus died on the cross so that I can live with Him forever. You see, he was victorious against sin and the death that it wages, so that you and I can live victorious through Christ. Oh, victory in Jesus! (A little hymnal to throw in there). And that's where this Proverbs 31 woman comes in at. I have always looked at her with envy as the epitome of perfection, but really that's not it at all. She depicts a woman who allows God to live through her and by her and relies on Him to make her wise, strong, courageous and beautiful.

        When reading through the New Living Translation, which has become my new favorite translation of the bible, the title of this particular section describing the Proverbs 31 woman is Wife of Noble Character. When we look up "nobel character" in the dictionary, it is an adjective that means distinguished, of admirably high quality, notably superior, excellent, of exalted moral or mental character. Sometimes noble is also referred to those distinguished by birth because they are aristocratic. Therefore, to begin looking on how we as wives and mothers should uphold ourselves, here is a "how-to" guide.

        In the first few verses, the bible states the following:

[b]A wife of noble character who can find?

    She is worth far more than rubies.

11 

Her husband has full confidence in her

    and lacks nothing of value.

12 

She brings him good, not harm,

    all the days of her life.

            It is already pointed out that nobility is hard to find. A woman that has exalted moral, mental character and that is distinguished in this way is difficult to find. Think about it. However, I wouldn't say that it is because we are not capable to be that woman. I believe that our culture has helped us to believe that in order to be "distinguished" we as woman must be sexualized. In order for us to be noticed whether it is by another man or even in the career world, we have to be beautiful and look a certain way, wearing what makes us "sexy." Alright ladies. Hang in there with me. I want you to put down your "I got to where I am today because I am smart, intelligent, kind, etc." I really was in that thought process until some important men in my life pointed this out to me. How many "successful" women do you see in society that aren't deemed "pretty" by society? I would argue not that many. Unfortunately, we as women are determined what our status will be by how we are perceived by appearance by those around us. But, God is putting it out there in the beginning. Noble character is what is more precious. Our beauty is fleeting, but character is ever lasting. When we are noble, our husbands can trust us. And in my personal dealings in life, trust is invaluable. To truly trust someone with who you truly are, aka character, is very difficult. But here, Solomon points out that if we are noble, we are trustworthy. We are priceless. And because of that, we bless those around us. Don't believe me? Read those words above. If you make up your mind to be noble - following after Jesus and allowing His Holy Spirit to live in you (which is the ONLY way to be noble), then were are precious like rubies. Rare. Beautiful. Good. Lovely. 

           So, how do you become noble? Follow Jesus. Spend time in His word and in His presence and let the Holy Spirit flow in you and through you. Believe the words above that you are priceless and beautiful because of your character, not because of what you look like. And don't listen to the enemy. Don't let him steal your joy which is your true beauty. Meditate on this today. Tomorrow we will look at more of this Proverbs 31 woman and see how we are "her."

Praying and Believing for more, 

Lauren

New Beginnings

           After celebrating another birthday this past Wednesday, (26th if you were wondering) something dawned on me. Most of us decided on January 1st that we will begin new things. New exercise programs, new weight loss diets, new devotions; a new us. But really, if one thinks about it, our new year starts on our birthdays. That is actually the new year for you and me on a more personal level. Therefore, I decided that on my birthday would be the start for a new me - a better wife, more loving mother, healthier woman and most importantly, a deeper follower of Christ.

           Needless to say, I am in a new phase in my life. We have recently completed moving to a new area and new church. Sam and I have also made the decision with me to stay at home with the girls full-time - I am now a stay-at-home mom. Yes, yes. A stay-at-home mom. I never thought that Lauren Bridges and stay-at-home mom would even be in the same sentence together and would equate the same person. I am ashamed to say that 10, 5 and even 2 years ago I made the comments to my husband, "Why would a woman stay at home. We have the ability to work just like men and should never rely on our husbands salary alone to support a household." God has a way to show us our words and a pretty great sense of humor. So, despite the fact that I have my RN, and worked extremely had to obtain that, I am at home with my sweet 3 month old and 21 month old. Most days I love it, and other days, I can't wait for them to be over and start again. However, as a momma, I am finding that I need much self discipline if I don't want the day to slip away from me. My desire is to "grab the bull by the horns" and "seize the day."

          This week, I have made the following decisions to help me seize my day and make time work in my favor. As sleeping in seemed oh so nice, I find that waking up at 6 AM is a much better use of my day rather than waking at 8. It is in the early morning hours that I can have "me time" and most mommas know that this is a rare thing that is hardly ever found. When you become a mother, there is no longer me time. Heck, there is no longer husband and wife time. So, if you haven't become a parent yet, word to the wise, no more time to watch TV by yourself, sleep, eat, take a shower and even go to the bathroom without little hands, loud mouths and sweet little ones being there. Constantly. Just be prepared. But, it's not a bad thing either. I love those sweet moments (minus the bathroom one). Therefore, the only way to have time to yourself is to find it when they are sleeping. This is a glorious state that they are rendered unconscious and you can find "me time" once again. So, at 6 AM I can wake up, eat breakfast, have a devotional and work out all before little eyes even think about popping open. I can also apparently write this blog.

           To ensure my discipline keeps up, I have given myself challenges which are not easy to back away from. Currently, I have taken the 30 day "Butt Lift Challenge" and I am also practicing some yoga. Maybe the "Butt Lift Challenge" is a little too much info, but hey, as a new momma of two under 2, I may be 26, but I don't have a 26 year old body. This is even the conversation via text between the hubby and I this morning:

Sam sends me a picture of us 4 years ago and says "Look at my hot wife." 

Me: Wow that was 4 years ago? 

Sam: Yep 

Me: Time flies when you're having fun.  

Sam: Oh yea 

Me: What happened to that hot wife? I think she's MIA 

Sam: 2 kids. They ravished her body in ways I can't understand.  

Me: It's okay. I'm trying to find her in this beat up body. I'm pretty sure she's in here somewhere.  

(Just for clarification, Sam and I are lovingly joking. Or, at least he is.)

And the yoga that I mentioned, that is for fitness and a peaceful frame of mind along with devotions in the morning because without the Holy Spirit, I can't be the better wife or loving mother that I mentioned in the beginning of this post. I would just be Lauren failing at the attempt of either one of those. Because of Jesus, I have hope that I can be the woman portrayed in Proverbs 31. Yes, the infamous Proverbs 31 woman. I know, I know. We as women are tired of hearing about "her."As a mother and wife, I used to be afraid of "her" knowing that I could never obtain this status of this amazing mother and wife Solomon describes here. However, as a follower of Jesus, I recognize that grace is given daily and the Holy Spirit that gave Solomon the wisdom to write these words is the same Holy Spirit living in me and through Him and by Him I, too, can become "her." I will continue to post about how we as women can be like this Proverbs 31 woman and it won't be about how you are currently doing life wrong and failing, but encouraging you to understand who this woman was and how we can be like her knowing that His grace is sufficient on days that we aren't and His grace is new every morning for another try.

            The Proverbs 31 woman is actually who inspires me to be better - healthier, more in control of finances, more loving, patient, passionate, a teacher and a follower. I have made a schedule for myself for the day which is posted along with the new homeschool routine I am doing with "G." Although she is not quite 2, she is very smart and I long to push her to be better as well. My plan is to show you my own trials and errors of homeschooling a 2 year old along with the resources used.

            I am excited to be in this season of a "new me" and to share it with those willing to follow. Love is unfolding before your very eyes in an imperfect manner, but a passionate manner. Come journey along beside me and see what is in store because with Jesus, all things are possible.

                                                                                Love,
                                                                            Lauren


The schedule I promised:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Dgz77KaxAOoFM2i-AZtk0g01dhDS6M1QUDOVVUt8PwE/edit?usp=sharing

Links to my current Challenges: